What a difference a year makes

Fourth of July 09

I keep thinking about where I was at mentally and physically last year at this time. Boy, I am in such a different place and I am so much happier now. The first three pictures are from July 09 and the only two pictures I could find from July 08 were these taken on train at an animal park with my son who was 2 at the time. I couldn't find any pictures other than me in the hospital after giving birth. I avoided the camera last year, I declined invites to special events that I had to dress up for, I avoided anything that I had to look decent. I was soooo withdrawn and hating myself. Now this summer I am in the pool more than ever, yesterday I was invited to go to a hot springs for swimming and relaxation with some girl friends. Inside I was a little hesitant but I knew I really wanted to go and I was happy I did. I am always scared of looking awful and being embarrassed. So at the springs there were many pools for wading on rafts and lounging, mud baths, saunas, drinks, lunch, and fun for a girls day out. When I looked around I saw many shapes and sizes and I really didn't care about what they looked like. I just felt good about myself. Now I made a point not to take pictures, which lately I am radically photagraphing all my outings. Looking back to last year before the surgery I find very very few pics of me with my newborn. That makes me sad. Now my I am documenting my weight loss and our lives as the kids grow. It's getting quite easy to say to my husband or mom to take some pictures of me. I don't know why but I always thought it was up to them to take the camera from me and take my pic. Nope, nobody really thinks about it.

Another thing, I am now wearing sleaveless tops....never, never would I feel comfortable wearing sleaveless!

The pic with K in the hat is at Sea World, San Diego last week.

Matthew is saying, "Choo, choo!" We were riding a train:)

Another thing I am looking forward is Tim's Surprise 40th I am planning for Aug. 15th. I can't wait!!!! I have about everything order/planned/scheduled. It will be a black and white attire, Casino night at our house. There are companies that bring real casino tables like Blackjack, Roulette, and Craps to your home along with dealers and host the party. Fun!!!! I am having the food catered by a delish Mexican restaurant, a Margarita Man Machine, a photographer, I am designing a cake to have made, and have invited his best buddies new and old friends. I hope it's a good turn out. I know any turn out will be fun. Whew...the scary part is the little bit of story telling I am doing to keep the surprise. It's so much fun and he is so easy to keep in the dark. My neighbor is helping me set up while I take him out for drinks and dueling pianos at a local restaurant. Then I am going to blindfold him to our second destination-our house!!!!

I can't wait to find a sexy black dress to wear.
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